Avi, Avi, and Waspinator in...
Epic Date of Doom
By Hunter_Chameleon (Crown Thunder) and Avi (Gemini Spark)

Story behind this non-canon filler ep: it all began with a silly chat RP over AIM between Avi and Hunter.  What started out as a silly and outlandish idea (Avi-B dating Waspinator from Beast Wars...) soon escalated into an epic adventure of time paradoxes and... well... just read it already! 

The majority of what you are about to read was taken directly from the chat, with minimal alterations, reformatted into an epilogue, courtesy of Hunter.   Just a warning, however: brain cells can and will be lost!

(Our story begins with the universe's chew-toy : Waspinator. He seems lonely.)

Waspinator: Expozzition-bot correct ! Wazzpinator izz looking for someone to complete his life. Someone zzat will love Wazzpinator and not blast him apart at any second.

(Good luck, pal.)

Waspinator: But Wazzpinator knowzz where to look ! Wazzpinator, away !

(And so, at the entrance of Red Shift...)

Waspinator: Wazzpinator nervous. *rings the doorbell*

Martyr: *opens* ...

Waspinator: ...

Martyr: ...

Waspinator: ...

Martyr: ...

Waspinator: ... So, izz black elec-bot here ?

Martyr: ... I wish that you get strangled to death with your own innards.

Waspinator: Been zzere, done zzat. Will grumpy fleshling talk now ? *hands Martyr an Oreo*

Martyr: *grabs the cookie* ... Fine. *to the house* Avi. Weirdo for you. *gets to the kitchen*

Avi-W: Hey, it's that stupid wasp-bot ! *blasts Waspinator's head away*

Avi-B: Oh ! my ... please excuse us ... *puts the head back on his shoulders* In fact, we're surprised to see people here, so, yeah...

Waspinator: No problem. *fidgets around* Er ... So, does black elec-bot wanna see "Transformers 2" with Wazzpinator ?

Avi-B: Um... yeah... sure!

(Later, at the theater...)

Waspinator: Wazzpinator will buy Energon goodies ! *comes back with a whole bag* Black elec-bot wants some ?

Avi-B: Heh... that sounds... um, delicious!

Avi-W: I call dibs ! *steals all*

Waspinator: ...

(Later, while the movie plays...)

Avi-W: Bah ! There's not enough action here ! Boo ! Hiss !

Waspinator: *muttering* White elec-bot right.

Avi-W: let's have more action now ! *blasts one of the seats* You ! Fight this guy now !

(And the movie was interrupted by hostage-taking and pit-fighting. I suppose it was more entertaining.
Still, the trio escaped to a pub after the theater caught fire and the army came in to dispose of the FM-ians.)

Waspinator: *listening to the narrator* ... Anozzer day in life of Wazzpinator.

Avi-B: *pats Waspinator on the back*

Waspinator: But Wazzpinator famous ! Became a god on Earth !

Avi-W: WHAT! *grabs Waspinator* Do tell me more, SPEAKER SYSTEM!

Waspinator: Wazzpinator went back in time ! Zzere were lotzzz of fights, but Wazzpinator stayed, and became god of cavemen ! Also, Wazzpinator remained alive becauzze fleshlings liked him.

Avi-W: *shakes Waspinator violently* Well what are you wating for, you rubber glove?! TAKE ME BACK IN TIME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW, SO WE MAY RULE OVER ZE FLESHLINGS TOGETHER!

Waspinator: Wazzpinator hazz better idea : past had giant robots trapped, so Wazzpinator will set himself in giant planebot !

Avi-W: Well... I want a giant robot PONY!

Avi-B: Yeah... we always asked Santa for a pony... and never got one... *sniff*

Waspinator: Ponies ? Wazzpinator doesn't remember ponies. But Wazzpinator rememberzz gunbots and truckbots !

Avi-W: Is that anything LIKE a pony?

Waspinator: It can blow up lotzz of stuff. But for all Wazzpinator knowzz, it could be rebuilt into giant ponybot !

Avi-W: ...you will take me there NOW! *points dramatically*

Waspinator: Let'zz get back to ... zze past ! *goes and steals a Delorean*

Avi-W and B: *singing* GOT TO GET BACK. BACK TO THE PAST SAM-UR-AI JACK~!

Waspinator: *programming the car* But beware of weird floaty hippie headzz ! Zzey don't like people time-travelling !

Avi-B: I'm a hippie... but, yeah... I have a body though...

Avi-W: I can fix that! *grabs chainsaw*

Waspinator: o_o *jumps on the chainsaw* Why doezz bodily pain attract Wazzpinator ? Or zze oppozzite ?

Avi-W: *slaps Waspinator* Patch yourself, you ... muffin !

Waspinator: Ow !

(Anyway, back in THE PAST...)

Waspinator: *entering the Ark* And zzis izz giant crashed spaceship. Giant robots here ! What do elec-bots want ?

Avi-B and Avi-W: A PONY!

Waspinator: Hmm. So, let'zz get giant red truckbot, red planebot, and ozzer red truckbot ... zzome repair ... *blows himself up a lot* and here izz giant ponybot ! Meanwhile, Wazzpinator will repaint white planebot...

Avi-B and Avi-W: PONIEZ!!!!1 *hugs*

Waspinator: *in front of a wasp-colored Starscream* Now zzat painting izz done ... Wazzpinator and elec bots will enter zzeir robots ! But first, let's remove uzzeless suff ! *throws the Sparks away* But before ... *holding the Matrix* prezzent for black elec-bot.

Avi-B and Avi-W: PONIEZ!!!11 *enters robot* My little ponyyyy~

Waspinator: ... Okay. *throws the Matrix away* Let's do zzis ... *enters Starscream's body* And now, back to zze present !

(There was one big problem...)

Waspinator: ... robots too big for car. So Wazzpinator put car in robots ! *rips the DeLorean apart and puts its systems in both robots*

Avi-B and Avi-W: Neeeeeeeeeiighh~~~ *more random horse noises*

Waspinator: Let's go ! *TIME-TRAVEL !*

(Because of the screw-ups, Earth belongs to the Decepticons. And since Avi-B didn't pick up the Matrix, Megatron got it.)

Avi-W: *looking at the dystopian world* But... that's... MY earth! D'=

Waspinator: ... Uh-oh. ... Wait ! Wazzpinator hazz idea ! Let's kill gunbot, and take his place when Decepticons wake up ! Then, elec-bots rule zze universe !

(TIME-TRAVEL !)

Avi-W: *eyeing Megatron* MWAHAHAHAHA!!! Now go, my little pony! Destroy this "gun bot" with your MAGICAL RAINBOW POWERS!

(It WAS a rainbow ... granted, mostly electrical, but still. And now Megatron went boom.)

Avi-B: *looks at the Matrix* Oh ! I think Waspinator wanted to offer it to us ... so, it would be nice to take it ... so, yeah...

Avi-W: *slaps Avi-B* You're too sensible ! But it looks nice and rainbowy ... it fits our pony ! *inserts the Matrix into the pony's torso*

(And then, the pony became glowy, while 80s music played !)

Stan Bush: You got the Touch ... You got the Poweeeeer ...

Waspinator, Stan Bush and Avis: YEAH !

SFX: Arise, Avimus Prime.

Waspinator: Now, elec-bots and Wazzpinator gotta get back to 1984, when giant bots wake up !

(And in 1984...)

Skywarp: Slag ! Megatron's offline !

Thundercracker: Who will lead us ?

Avi-W: it is I, Avimus Prime. So do as I say, you overgrown toasters !

Soundwave: Unit sounds like leader. Leadership : accepted.

Decepticons: Hail Avimus Prime !

(And so, after much murder, Avi became Avimus Prime, leader of Transformers and ruler of the universe !)

Waspinator: *now happily dictatoring with Avi-B and Avi-W* Wazzpinator happy at last.

- The End -