Those Crazy FM-ians in...
Dawn of the Cosmos (Part 1)
By Avi (Gemini Spark)

Starring...

Somewhere in space...
We find ourselves in a mysterious room, deep within the electromagnetic wave world. There, sits a throne. And on that throne, sits this guy.

Cepheus: …

That’s Cepheus, the king of Planet FM. Ah, Planet FM… home to a race of evil aliens noted for being drawn to lonely souls… but more on that later. For now, let’s check on what our evil king is up to, shall we?

Cepheus: Oh, Andromeda! Come here, girl! *whistles a few times*

After but a moment, a vicious-looking monstrosity, resembling that of a demonic, disembodied head, appears before the FM-ian King.

Cepheus: Good girl! *pets the monster on the forehead* My precious doomsday weapon.

(Andromeda begins chewing on Cepheus’s leg… or, at least, whatever is left of his leg.)

Cepheus: OW! Bad girl. NO! What does it take to train you to stop doing this?! Drop it…!

To those of you who were wondering why Cepheus only has those little stubs for legs, with no feet or anything… now you know! So, after fighting for about three minutes, Cepheus finally pulls his leg free from the monster’s jaw.

Cepheus: BAD! Bad…

(Cepheus brushes himself off, and regains his composure)

Cepheus: Phew… normally, I shouldn’t reward this type of behavior with food, but for now, I must make an exception. You need to fuel up if you are going to be destroying the Earth for me!

Cepheus then pours some kind of food into an incredibly large bowl, about the size of a swimming pool, which sits besides his throne. And if you must know, the aforementioned “food” is actually made up of the souls of unfortunate people who were converted into electromagnetic waves, exclusively for the purpose of feeding the king’s monstrous pet. No joke… play the game, people. The king really is a heartless bastard!

Cepheus: Aw, don’t flatter me! *giggles*

Back to our story, Andromeda approaches its food bowl, and devours it whole… yes, including the actual bowl itself…

Cepheus: GAH! Bad girl! Do you have any idea how much a food bowl that size costs?! Especially considering how I am forced to spend taxpayers’ zenny to buy these things, further forcing my already poor people even deeper into poverty?! They will want to overthrow and/or assassinate me even more now, I just know it! All I wanted was a pet doomsday weapon that could BEHAVE ITSELF, and you, YOU MISSY… you are nothing but trouble!

(Andromeda gives Cepheus the “sad puppy dog” look)

Cepheus: Just… GO AWAY! GET OUT OF MY FACE!

(Andromeda leaves the room, but not before summoning a meteor that nearly crashed into the king’s face.)

Cepheus: Hey… um… I’m so sorry, Andromeda! I know I say some things, but you are still my pet, and…

As the king was apologizing, five figures entered the throne room. They were none other than five of the king’s most elite FM-ian warriors: Taurus, Cygnus, Libra, Ophiuca, and Gemini.

And although they were not here, there were three other elite FM-ian warriors as well; however, they were back on Earth, and for whatever reason, not bothering to assist the king in his ultimate evil plot. Some servants they are! Anyway… those lazy bums are Cancer, Wolf, and Crown. Although, I don’t know why I am even mentioning them… meh, I suppose they’ll become important later on. But I digress.

The five FM-ians who faced the king were quite scarred and bruised…

Gemini: (franticly gasping for air) Your majesty… there are some urgent matters that must be attended to… Omega-Xis and that human child he fused with… the one known as “MegaMan…” has… just defeated us all…

Cygnus: He ruffled up my beautiful feathers! We are fortunate to even be alive after what he put us through… (oh, my poor feathers…)

Ophiuca: Your majesty… he is coming for you next. You had best make the proper preparations if you are to-

Cepheus: SHUT UP! I’m not in the mood to deal with you failures right now. Just… go sit in the corner!

Taurus: Moooooooowhat? We bust our asses for you, and you treat us like this?!

Libra: Taurus, stop. His majesty is having enough trouble balancing the weight of the situation at the moment as is. *he goes into an unseen corner, and the other four FM-ians follow*

Cepheus: Phew. Now I can have some nice peace and quiet before I destroy the-

It was then that Cepheus noticed the figure of the one and only MegaMan - the combined form of the Earthling known as Geo Stelar and the alien, Omega-Xis - approaching his throne!

Cepheus: Oh come on, I can’t get a break around here... gah. *clears his throat, and begins to speak in a deep, menacing voice, typical of your average super villain* Ahem. Greetings, Omega-Xis. You have done well to have come so far in that lowly body. I grant you permission to ascend the stairs and enter my throne room.

Omega-Xis: Gee, thanks for the courtesy, kingy, but we would have entered even if you didn’t invite us in.

Cepheus: Really? Talk about RUDE! Learn some freaking manners- I mean… HA HA HA!

MegaMan: Your majesty! We will not let you destroy the earth!

Cepheus: Yeah, yeah, whatever. ANDROMEDA! Come on out!

Omega-Xis: Stay on your toes, Geo.

MegaMan: Mm. *prepares for battle*

Cepheus: (waiting) Hold on… Andromeda is coming… any minute now…

The whole room begins to shake as the monstrosity that is Andromeda charges forward, into the throne room, crashing straight into Cepheus’s throne!

Cepheus: ARGH! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL THRONE! BAD GIRL! BAD BAD BAD!!!

MegaMan and Omega-Xis: …

Cepheus: Um… Andromeda, crush them!

Omega-Xis: So this is it. The final battle. Let’s go, Geo!

MegaMan: Right! Wave battle! Ride on!

Cepheus: I’ll bury you along with all your crappy anime catchphrases! Andromeda… GO!

MegaMan: Omega-Xis, I CHOOSE YOU! Go!

Omega-Xis: …I’m fused with you, kid. I’m attached to damn arm, in case you didn’t notice.

MegaMan: Oh… right. *aims his buster, which is actually Omega-Xis’s head, at Andromeda*

Cepheus: Andromeda! Use your Hyper Beam!

An epic battle ensues. In the end, MegaMan defeats Andromeda.

Cepheus: WHAT?! I refuse to accept the fact that there is a power capable of defeating my precious doomsday weapon! Andromeda, GET UP!

(Andromeda gets up and begins chewing on Cepheus’s legs again!)

Cepheus: NO, BAD!!!

Omega-Xis: That thing’s going on a rampage!

MegaMan: I’ll put a stop to it!

MegaMan musters up the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP, and vaporizes Andromeda with one mighty charged buster shot. As cheesy as it sounds, the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP is indeed a deadly force… much stronger than any doomsday weapon, apparently. Why, one could probably destroy entire galaxies with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP, with little effort… but, eh, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the room, we now rejoin the five FM-ians.

Cygnus: Oh, well, so much for that evil plan! Back to the drawing board, I guess.

Gemini: I can’t believe this. After all my hard work as his political advisor… my political puppet failed in destroying a world full of hairless apes? What the hell? He had no problem destroying a world populated by powerful energy beings while under my manipulation… so why not a stinking world owned by GODDAMNED HAIRLESS APES?!

Libra: Perhaps, it was because you and the king failed to balance out one another’s needs.

Taurus: Besides, Cepheus sucks.

Ophiuca: It pains me to agree with that barbaric cow, but…

Gemini: Enough out of all of you! I did well in using the king to carry out our evil plans, damn it, I mean, look! MegaMan isn’t even finishing him off!

Cygnus: Eh?

Gemini: Oh ho ho… our plan may yet succeed!

The FM-ians then focus their attention to Cepheus and MegaMan.

Cepheus: You… why don’t you finish me off?

MegaMan: Finish you off? You mean… I should kill you? Oh no, that wouldn’t be very nice of me, as I fight FOR EVERLASTING PEACE! I only want to see everybody get along.

Cepheus: Wait… you’re not going to kill me? Even after I nearly destroyed your planet?

MegaMan: Hey, I forgive you.

Cepheus: …And you would even forgive me for actually destroying that one other planet?

MegaMan: Hey now, everyone makes mistakes.

Cepheus: And turning people into EM waves and feeding them to my monster pet?

MegaMan: No worries, it’s all good.

Cepheus: Say… you seem suspicious. You are acting awfully… friendly. You want to kill me with the power of friendship, just like you did to Andromeda!

Omega-Xis: Um… no, you knucklehead. Friendship does not work that way. If Geo wanted to kill you, he would have just shot your head clean off. There is no need for him to deceive anybody.

MegaMan: Yep! So, your majesty, I have two things to ask of you: first, you must trust me.

Cepheus: Um… sure, why not.

MegaMan: Second… let’s be friends!

Cepheus: (eyes widen) Huh… you… and me?!

MegaMan: Yep. BEST FRIENDS!

Cepheus: FRIENDS FOREVER!

Back to the FM-ians…

Taurus: Moo? What the HELL is this crap?!

Gemini: Heh heh heh heh heh…

Ophiuca: Oh? May I ask why you are laughing?

Gemini: Well played, your majesty, well played!

Cygnus: What are you talking about? There is not an ounce beauty to be found in this situation!

Libra: The balance between cunning and pitiful has been broken.

Gemini: Don’t you idiots see?! That MegaMan kid is far too trusting! He’s dropped his guard, opening himself up for a final blow! Do it, your majesty! Strike him down where he stands!

And back to the two new friends…

Cepheus: My name is Cepheus. What’s your name, Earthling?

MegaMan: Geo. Geo Stelar!

(The two shake hands, then embrace)

Omega-Xis: Precious moment.

Cepheus: Oh yeah, Geo, I got something for you. Close your eyes now…

MegaMan: OK! *closes them*

Gemini: (Ha ha ha… here we go now. Knife him in the back!)

Cepheus: You may open them now!

(MegaMan opens his eyes, and sees…)

MegaMan: What a beautiful flower! Thanks, Cepheus! I’m going to put it in a vase on my windowsill.

Cepheus: I’m glad you like it, Geo. My first and bestest friend in the universe!

Gemini: NO, YOU F#$%ING MORON! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KNIFE HIM IN THE BACK, NOT GIVE HIM A PRETTY FLOWER, GOD DAMN YOU CEPHEUS!!!

MegaMan: …Who said that?

Cepheus: Oh, nobody important.

Omega-Xis: Yeah, probably just another one of the many EM viruses that have been floating around here.

MegaMan: Say, Cepheus, would you like to go out for some ice cream?

Cepheus: Would I?! I’D LOVE TO!

And with that, the new friends cartwheeled off into the sunset as they sang a happy tune.

The FM-ians: …

Gemini: Well… heh. Maybe it’s a POISON flower! Or… or… maybe it’s a monster plant, which is just waiting to grow and devour all their Earthling heads! Um… right guys? …RIGHT?!

(The rest of the FM-ians burst out laughing at Gemini.)

Gemini: Why you…!!

Ophiuca: Gemini… that’s an EM dandelion. A flower that is actually quite common in the wave world. Why, look, you are floating right above one right now.

Gemini: Grrrrr… grumblegrumblegrumble…

Libra: Now, let’s face it. Manipulating that fool, Cepheus, was hardly the best plan we could have come up with for destroying the earth. It was, dare I say… unbalanced.

Gemini: HA! I would like to see YOU manipulate somebody in such a high position of social status!

Ophiuca: Cepheus was easy to control. You saw how easily he bought into Geo’s friendship act. Anybody could have taken advantage of him. Even… that metool over there. *points to a small EM virus*

Metool: Meep? *chews on its own pickaxe weapon*

Taurus: It can’t be said enough times how PATHETIC Cepheus is! I mean, look how he was defeated. The power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP?! Mooooo, come on.

Gemini: The power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP must not be underestimated… wait! That’s it! We ourselves could use the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP to destroy the-

Cygnus: Oh, but it doesn’t work that way.

Ophiuca: The power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP is but a fabrication brought forth only to teach Earth children these so-called “morals.” MegaMan only called upon these morals to set an example for any child who should witness his battle… hmph. Typical “hero” type.

Cygnus: Well said, dear. There was nothing more to MegaMan’s final attack, for it was but another charged buster shot. And Andromeda was indeed weakened enough to meet its end in such a fashion.

Gemini: RUB IT IN BOTH MY FACES WHY DON’TCHA. *begins sobbing uncontrollably*

Libra: Everybody, step away from Gemini. You all know the unbalanced force that occurs when water mixes with electricity.

(They step a few feet away)

Taurus: So… what now?

Cygnus: I say, we destroy the world without that Cepheus intruding upon our graceful presences!

Taurus: Sounds good to me!

Ophiuca: Hold on, Cygnus. Let’s think this through before we make any rash movements.

Cygnus: Oh, but dear, I have been thinking this through for a while now! Each of us has been defeated by MegaMan on more than one occasion. So now we know what to expect. Let’s all look back on our battles, and learn from them.

Ophiuca: I’m impressed. Somebody besides me on this team taking the time to think things through!

Libra: Cygnus, you are disrupting the balance of our group. Only Ophiuca, and Ophiuca alone, is meant to play the role of the calculating individual.

Cygnus: Libra, STOP it with your unhealthy obsession with the word “balance!” It’s wearing on our nerves! *clears throat* Anyway… MegaMan thinks he has finished us off for good. We could use this knowledge to our advantage – if we lay low, we could cause some major damage behind his back!

Ophiuca: Mm… it could perhaps work out… perhaps.

Taurus: I’m all for the idea, but… there is no way in hell I am fusing with that stupid chubby kid again! I’m getting a new host body whether you all like it or not.

Ophiuca: I would search for a new host as well, should we go along with this. After all, our previous bodies didn’t exactly work out so well for us.

Taurus: Mooo. I say, screw the humans. I’m fusing with a rhinoceros or something.

Ophiuca: No, you will not, Burgers. As it stands, the humans remain the most suited to our needs. No other being in the known universe is able to contain such darkness in their hearts, not to mention… loneliness. The lonelier the human, the more power we have over them, and the more powerful we ourselves become. Don’t ask why it works that way… it just does.

Taurus: I don’t care. I WANNA BE A GODDAMNED RHINO! Then, I’ll make a hamburger out of YOU…

Libra: Again, no, it shall not happen. The last thing we need is for you to tamper with the balance of our team dynamics by fusing with an animal, while the rest of us will be fusing with humans!

Gemini: (regaining his composure) Alright… it’s a plan, then. Now, who is going to inform Crown, Cancer and Wolf?

Cygnus: You are, since you brought it up.

Gemini: Grumblegrumblegrumble… fine.

Libra: Think of it as punishment for forcing us to rely on the king to carry out our plans.

Ophiuca: Wow, Libra… you actually went for a whole line without saying “balance!”

Libra: Oh… my mistake. Just for that, I will say “balance” twice this line. Balance, balance. Oh, but wait! I also said “balance” a third time. …Now make that four!

Cygnus: Ugh… whatever. A change in subject is in order.

(The others nod in agreement)

Cygnus: We, the FM-ians, shall usher in a new era. A glorious new era for space! From this moment on, our movement shall be known as Project: COSMOS!

Taurus: COSMOS? What in the hell is that supposed to stand for?

Cygnus: Heck if I know. But it sure sounds cool! It’s a simple name… yet dashingly elegant. Much like myself. *spreads his wings and strikes a pose*

Libra: Less needless showboating, more plotting. You need to balance the- *is slapped by Cygnus*

Ophiuca: Hm. We should designate ourselves a period of time, in which we shall search for the perfect human host bodies to suit our needs. Say, three months? After that time, we will work out a meeting place, to further discuss our plans.

Libra: Three months? No. Not only would we need more time than that, but it MUST be an even number of months! Odd numbers cannot be divided into two equal and ba-

(Libra receives menacing looks from his comrades)

Libra: …two equal and proportionately distributed halves. Six months should do.

Gemini: I myself am a fan of the number 2, but six months works as well, I suppose.

Libra: Six is a multiple of two.

Taurus: MOOOOOO, STOP SCREWING WITH MY HEAD WITH ALL THE MATH, JUST STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!

Ophiuca: *sigh* Typical moron.

Cygnus: Taurus is one messed-

Taurus: ARGH, STOP IT, YOU SAID ANOTHER NUMBER!!!!! MOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Cygnus: (ignoring Taurus) Very well. We shall take six months to search, then.

Gemini: Yes… and after that… *turns his attention to the earth, amidst the blackness of space* no more of that ugly, blue and green rock blocking our view of the stars.

Cygnus: Tell me about it… the colors of that planet clash terribly against one another! Ugh, so… tacky!

Libra: We shall visit upon it the apocalypse, and paint it a lovely shade of brown…

Ophiuca: Earthlings… enjoy your precious little planet while you still can.

Taurus: It won’t be there for much longer! MOOAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

All: *EVIL LAUGHTER*


And thus, it begins. Cosmos, a new era for space!


TLDR (too long, didn’t read) version: FM King’s evil plan fails. FM King’s evil minions conclude that their monarch is a wimp. FM King’s evil minions then ditch him and decide to destroy the world without him, promptly going off to find new human vessels. Crazy antics ensue.